The whole fiasco was a huge and elaborate infatuation.
Nobody deserves to go through this kind of misery twice if they can help it. But it is tough to be a discerning customer of love because it is so easy to surrender to the luxury of feeling in love but we can’t be lazy. In fact, I don’t think it should take more than one failed relationship to see that real love is worth the wait but life is really unpredictable (it is a hackneyed truism, I insist). And it is true that we learn from our flawed pasts. I believe nobody goes into a relationship seeing its end. We are only blind scavengers searching for the love that will exalt us to saintliness, or fall forever into the abyss without it. Sometimes, we face mirages and scramble towards it in unseeing haste, only to find that it is not the real thing. And we cry. Our hearts break. But the people before and around us will tell us it is only part of life and we learn. Because it is part of life.
But the funny thing is that we never actually learn. We think we learn but we just become more deluded. The next time we see a mirage, we may be cautious but we may still find ourselves tricked. And that is the biggest mystery of life. We never even really know if we have found the real thing. When do we know? When we take our last breaths and find that the person is still with us, and the feeling that remains is still so profound and real. It’s like taking an examination and never knowing whether we passed or failed until the very last moment of our lives.
Love is such a profound concept. To people who seek to understand it, the meaning eludes us time and again. Like how we can never comprehend the vastness of the universe. But the elusive Love is such a beauty, nobody can deny they strive for it. Some people’s whole lives are a consecration to it. True love for me is an ideal and cynicism does not stand in my way.