i’m sorry i can’t be perfect.

Do you believe people with perfect lives? Evan and Debra vehemently rejects the idea. They’re convinced that people who impose stories of their perfect lives on the world are secretly suffering from an inferiority complex and seek validation for their activities.

Wow, what a mouthful.

I don’t know. That’s like my mantra these days. But I honestly don’t. My world and everything I know about it are all muddled up. I don’t know what is right or wrong, good or bad, black or white. I don’t even know if that’s a good sign, though they say wisdom comes from knowing you don’t know.

But definitely, I know my life is far from perfect. It’s like the antithesis of perfection. Why else do you think I’m depressed and suicidal and nihilistic? So nihilistic, in fact, that I can’t even finish reading Le Mythe de Sisyphe.

Some people have very fixed ideas of how things work out. To them, there are formulas and procedures and a time for everything. Sometimes, I wish I had that clarity. Evan might be one of those. (Am I right?) But then, really, I’ve seen examples of how some things just don’t follow rules. You can do everything right and it turns out wrong or you can do everything wrongly and it turns out right. So, who’s to say?

Should I believe in the concept of perfect lives? Possibly. I think I can at least believe the person. Meaning that he truly believes his life is perfection and bliss. But then, I might also fairly decide that the person is delusional.


3 responses to “i’m sorry i can’t be perfect.

  1. yes.
    having rules and regulation helps. but i also do admit that lack of it is beneficial sometimes.

    u make me seem more rigid than i actually am. :S

    logic, probability and algorithms have not disappointed me so far, so i will remain this way till convinced of a better alternative.

  2. perfection is seldom thought of as perfection. Its more of contentment and being comfortable with one’s lot in life.

    so in some sense, “Meaning that he truly believes his life is perfection and bliss” does not mean that he is delusional, he just has a different take on perfection.

  3. valeriejayne.

    hmm you’re describing perfection as a state of mind while i’m seeing it as an adjective. in my context, perfection is literally defined as without flaws.

    but i agree with you that the construct ‘perfection’ is subjective. haha though here, you’re hearing from a pessimist who doesn’t engage in positive states of mind.

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