I think I’m kinda stressed…but I feel relaxed. Okay not really, something like there’s a lot of stuff behind this door and my back is pushing against it to prevent the stuff from bursting out. There’s an avalanche coming. I can feel it, but I don’t have to feel it to know it because it’s too obvious. Duh. I have all these work piling up and I’ve just been pretending there’s nothing to do and never getting round to them. Wasting time is one hell of an addictive activity. Like arcade and mindless games. There’s gotta be a paper on it; I’ve gotta find it. Ah see, that’s where my time goes to.
The problem is…I’ve got all these work, I don’t even know where to start! Like if I start on this, what about that one?! seems more urgent, ok I’ll finish that up first. no wait, but I gotta complete that one. ah fuck it, I’ll just play totem destroyer until the clock hits the next hour, nicer time to start work. I want a Wii.
And I’m getting so damned lazy I can’t even finish sentences. Like I’ll start telling Jiafen about something: “Oh my god, you know what. I MUST tell you this…aiya never mind. Lazy to say already.” She wants to strangle me, I know. I’ve gotta invent a simpler way to bathe if not…”I’m pretty much fucked.” (in Tong’s words) Cos I NEED to be clean but I hate the hassle of bathing. It’s just that it’s such an elaborate procedure. And there’s protocol to follow and I get so upset when I mess up the steps sometimes although it’s ridiculous cos I’m doing it everyday right. Like I’ve gotta do it step by step if not it’ll affect stuff like the timing and the amount of time the soap stays on for disinfection to be completed, etc. And doing laundry in hall is a bitch.
I just bought a fountain pen. It is so old school. Why do I like writing so much? When I paid for it at kino, the cash register flashed “expensive pen/refill”. Says the same on the receipt. Haha damn cute.
I’ve never typed a more mindless post. But I figured maybe I should stop being such a purist and loosen up. And I can’t stand the use of I’s. Ugh, read from some psych report that the use of more than 3 I’s in a sentence is an indication of insanity. It really disturbs me when I see all these I’s, oh my god. Val should employ a third person style of writing. She’s breathing easier now. This is totally crazy. crap