my personal dr jerkyll and mr hyde.

There are girls who will look at the film and go “Woody Allen!”, but this is hands down a no-brainer choice for all men. Why? Because there’s Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz and some hot girl-on-girl action! This is like THE DREAM.

But I like to think Vicky Cristina Barcelona grapples with some really deep issues: love, monogamy, fidelity and commitment.

So I was leaning back in my seat thinking, “ Hmm…this is my kind of show and Cristina is exactly the kind of girl I’d probably be if I had the courage, the looks and the body, sans the parents and the socialized conservatism.” And then, Woody Allen probably got too much into the film and stuff started happening. The partner sharing thing, the lesbian kiss and the threesome and whoa! It kinda got a little too much for me.

But this film, it brought me back again to the struggle I’ve always been having with myself. The life that Cristina has, it seduces me. It’s frightening and liberating at the same time. Mentally, Cristina and I share the same outlook. We don’t know what we want, but we know what we don’t want. I might be inclined to agree with Vicky’s fiancé, Doug, who finds Cristina’s ‘contempt for normal values pretentious’. But on the other hand, I also have this jealousy of people who are able to lead a lifestyle that denounces normal values. I wish I could be like that. And really, I think, had I been brought up differently, I might just be like that. Is this the struggle I’m always going to have? Because it is tiring. It’s tiring when you think “I wanna pack my bags and go. I’ll wait tables, I’ll rent a dingy room somewhere, take walks and drink in the scenes, read alfresco, meet a charming man, fall in love and have great conversations and mind-blowing sex, and then grow restless and move on to another enchanting locale and repeat.” Then you stop yourself and consider the absurdity of such an idea. It’s tiring when you have to battle with all these rationality and planning for survival when really you are nothing like that. It’s tiring to have to keep thinking about the future when all you want is here and now, but you’re afraid to own the moment. It’s tiring when you want to act on your impulse but your head is consequences, consequences, consequences.

I think I’m Cristina and Vicky rolled into one, consciously and subconsciously waiting for a man like Juan Antonio to sweep me off my feet. Of course, I’d be appalled by him when/if I actually do. No wait, I think I’m like Cristina but socialized into a Vicky, so now I have two of them in my system.

But if you do a checklist kind of thing, I’d definitely be a Cristina. I think I might have chronic dissatisfaction too. I know I’m definitely restless.

(As recommended by Isk)


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