respecting yourself 101 (for women)

He’s just not that into you is one good concept packaged and sold well. I think it’s fairly well written, with Greg’s parts being visibly the more entertaining of the two. But really, it’s not a new concept. We all know it. We just pretend not to. So, they’re the first ones to recognise the selling point of this ‘revolutionary’ dating concept, can it in a catchy tagline and voila, it’s a bestseller! Perfect example of the power of words and how it sells.

But I mustn’t rob the book of its due worth. We cannot underestimate enough the self-delusional power of many women. A book like that would be pivotal in the lives of many otherwise competent and self-assured women. Besides, the back-stories of the writers make them an interesting advisory pair that is, in spite of its novelty, trustily effective. Women identify themselves in the grievances of Liz and find candid enlightenment in Greg.

I must say I was leery of the book. That’s why it took me a year after my first browsing to finally decide to get it. It looked too much like just another dating guide and I find it particularly mortifying to read dating guides. But I think every woman needs a book like that in her collection just as a reminder for all the things she already knows. This book is the enduring logic for times when our brains are AWOL. If for nothing else, get it because Greg proves to be funny at times and it’s going at ‘3 for 2’ at Borders right now.

This one cracked me up. In response to an unhappy woman who makes ‘because he is studying to be a doctor’ excuses for her boyfriend’s abusive behaviour: “I don’t care if he’s studying to become the next Messiah.”

I don’t know about dating guides but this one’s advantage is that it’s down-to-earth and realistic. While Greg is all fluffy and optimistic because he’s found the love-of-his-life, Liz brings it back to the realm of the average girl’s distress with her insightful participation. It’s personal to her; she represents every woman out there who feels incomplete. And she’s right. Recognising you deserve the best might seem a major overhaul in your life but it’s not going to bring Mr Right to your door in an instant. Realistically, it is loneliness, disillusionment and stoicism. But at the very least, respecting and loving yourself goes a long way in building your confidence.

I would know. And now, I wouldn’t give that empowerment up just for a little snuggling and company on good days. Not when they come in a package with nights-I-cry-myself-to-sleep, unreliability and emotional immaturity. No thank you. I love myself way better than that. (And I don’t care if you cry yourself to sleep now because of that.)

I’ll leave you with one quote:
“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” Erica Jong


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