love.

Love is a strange thing. Somebody told me once, “Love is when you’re so taken with someone but cannot explain how or why.” Yet I also remember a cynic who smirked and told me, “Don’t think it’s so romantic, thinking you love someone without being able to tell why. That’s not really love.” To my knowledge, the first one is resolutely single, embroiled in two instances of unrequited affection, while the other, still chasing wind.

Maybe one of the complexities of love is that it is so different for everyone. For me, I’m with the first one. When you’re in love with someone, you just fall in love. It can happen in an instant or take years of friendship. But when you’re asked how or why you’re in love, you will be hard pressed to give an answer worthy of your adoration, because it is everything and nothing. When I asked the first guy what is it about her he is so besotted with, he replied, “I don’t know. It’s…how she pushes her specs up when it slips down the bridge of her nose, with her palm instead of her fingertips. She buys clothes for her brother when she’s out. It’s her kindness, her consideration. It’s the things she says that are so bizarre and what the hell but all the more endearing.”

To me, love is when his quirkiest actions make your heart skip a beat. Love is when his little unattractive idiosyncrasies make you smile. Love is when you have the capacity to pull him into your arms and kiss him no matter what he is or has done. Anyone can love wit, beauty, popularity and confidence. Love is when he is down and out and you feel the overpowering need to protect him and hold your hand out for him. But love is not that unchanging. Love requires effort, nurturing and an open heart. Love is not proud but love has self-respect.

The stranger thing about love is… How do I describe this? Have you ever had someone you wished you were in love with but you’re not? And each time you say your goodbyes, you feel a sadness of sorts because you almost feel the need to reach out to him, hold his hand, give him a peck on the cheek or hug him but you can’t. Not because you can’t actually do that but it would be cruel to because you won’t be able to give him what he wants. Do you have someone in your life so amazing and good and kind and you love him but you’re not in love with him and it kind of kills you that you’re not because you’re so stupid! It’s almost selfish to keep him in your life. Will it ever see a happy ending?

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4 responses to “love.

  1. it seems almost a problem unique to girls, what you just described. good luck with love, val.

  2. Love is the creation of a ‘us’ in a world of ‘I’ and ‘you’. Its when the picture the person holds of you is clearest of who you are and yet doesnt look away. Its when there are no illusions of perfection but the creation of perfection. The perfection where one lives together, and not apart from others. Therefore feeling the most of yourself when you look into the other’s eyes.

    :)
    My take on it.

  3. rubbish shaun haha havent you felt it before?

    joshua:
    does that include love at first sight? i just wrote sth abt love at first sight debunking it. but i like what you said esp “the creation of a ‘us’ in a world of ‘I’ and ‘you’”

  4. hmm i dont really believe in love at first sight. A very intense crush at first sight perhaps.

    Btw , i wrote my piece on Jacelyn Tay!

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