Hello, don’t be quick to judge. If you want to, read this in its entirety or not at all.
Thomas, one of the 12, doubted Jesus’ rise. (And I think that’s where the phrase ‘doubting Thomases’ came from.) He said, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.” (John 20:25)
I used to be like that.
…until someone (and I can’t believe I can’t remember who) told me that that’s not the point at all. Of course God could appear to all of us and make it so that we have no choice but to believe in His existence. But God wouldn’t want it to happen that way. He wanted us to have faith. And faith is not like that at all.
Jesus did appear to Thomas and the rest of his disciples. And when he did, he said to the prostrate Thomas, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:29)
I cannot say how or why but I’ve turned from a stubborn skeptic to a cautious believer. I am still leery of the rituals and ideologies put forth by organised religions but I find myself slowly and surely stepping into God’s grace.
I think I have a tentative conception of this God. My God loves me and He died on the cross for me. But He also died on the cross for everyone else and some of them have also came to know him in very personal relationships. However, this is immaterial because this God, in His omnipotence, works in ways that are out of the capacity of human comprehension.
My God loves me so much that He had been willing to give me free will to decide if I wanted to reconcile with Him. Can you imagine this magnanimity? If you had loved someone the way He did me, where could you have found this benevolence to let the person go and bear the pain of uncertainty in his/her recourse to you?
Most importantly, my God loves me and trusts me and has so much faith in me that my sincerity and earnestness alone are enough to prove my faltering human love for Him. He does not require any grandeur show of faith from me. All he needs is my quietly uttered prayer, spoken in earnest.
After all, what good is a meaningless ritual if faith is absent? Michelle considers baptism in vain if the baptised does not believe in it. And I find this sound logic. For two people in love, who believe in the institution of marriage, the formal union would be meaningful to them because they see it as a concretization of their love. But they can just as well not get married because in plain terms, marriage is just a legal protocol to bind two people lawfully. It does nothing for their love if they do not believe in this ‘ritual’. And if you look at two people who are not in love, marriage becomes an absolute farce because it blasphemes the very foundation of a matrimonial proceeding. And baptism would be marriage in this analogy.
My God loves me and I’m returning to Him like a prodigal daughter. He knows it and I know it. Who else do we need to prove this to?
I am not buying the religion but I think I’m on my way home to the guy up there who loves me the mostest. I don’t know when I’ll reach but I know He’s definitely waiting with open arms.
‘Cause it’s a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies