getting here.

As I’m standing here and you hold my hand
Pull me towards you and we start to dance
All around us, I see nobody
Here in silence, it’s just you and me

I’m trying not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time just thinking about you
I don’t know what to do; I think I’m falling for you
I’ve been waiting all my life and now I found you
I don’t know what to do; I think I’m falling for you

Makes me think of the time we walked back to hall all the way from Holland V after getting high on meat at Crystal Jade. It was quiet, only us, and your arm was around my shoulders, then crossed with my arm, until somehow we were holding hands. And while my addled head was frantically examining the rules of social etiquette—has it changed so much that it’s normal for good friends to hold hands??—we pretended to banter as if our fingers weren’t intertwined.

If I had only dared allow myself, I’d have been spending all my time just thinking about you. If I had only dared admit it, I really was falling for you. And now you know why. But because I didn’t dare, I can’t even remember how we got here. So I hold on to what little I have, because ‘here’ isn’t very much fun reminiscing, it was the ‘getting here’ that I found most exciting.

But still…it was lucky.