making lists.

1. I’m suffering from Illustrator withdrawal. Cos I’m home without my mac and Tong just gave me an awesome design idea.

2. I need to rant about a certain half-wit but I’m nowhere as stupid as him to do it here. If I could, I’d wrench his malfunctioning balls off. Since they’re not doing much for him anyway (probably stopped producing testosterone since he was 5), they could provide gruesome entertainment for me. Alternatively, I could slice his dick longitudinally and pour salt over it every 2 days to make sure it doesn’t heal. (Castration is much too lenient for my taste.)

3. Catwalk = crawl on all fours. I can’t figure out which planet my o-neh (opposite neighbour) came from.

4. The Economist ads give me a brain orgasm every time I see one. I just had to say that again.

5. Edward Cullen.

Believe me, I am shame-faced to admit I’ve recently joined the legions of gullible teenage groupies lusting after the very sexy, very cocky and very tortured vampire in Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series.

The draft for Midnight Sun has left me ravenous for more. Every time I read about the little actions and decisions he makes that betray his stupendous affection for (@#$%&…I cannot believe I forgot the girl’s name!! Can’t be bothered to check), my emotions go berserk. My heart rate soars to an absurd velocity and a shiver goes through my entire being. And my palm aches. I don’t know how but my palm aches every time I read something ridiculously romantic. And then I actually make an audible ‘aw.’ (This has never happened before. I have, hitherto, only ever made mocking ‘aw’s.) with a face that has ‘I am putty in your arms’ written all over.

I am only an inch away from holding up a picket sign that says “Cullen I love you. Please marry me!” HAHAHA. Just kidding. Anyways, he should marry me. I’m a vampire too. (: You know damn well we shouldn’t have interspecie-al marriages, so there!

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